The truth is that I have no idea where to start, since I'm not an author or a writer. I'm a follower of Christ Jesus, a wife to a wonderful man in the military, and mother to one preschooler. I graduated with a degree in business, so the most I've written are papers on organizational structure and marketing management, of which I imagine you'll find little of in my blogs. This is the first blog I've written - thus enter the 21st century, Kirstie!

Any successful words I may share are purely by the grace of God and through the relationship I have with Jesus Christ.

I've recently been struggling with a hurt friendship; I unintentionally hurt a dear friend. Her response was justifiable, but I as well ended up hurt. After two days of sulking, I finally turned to the true source of comfort, God's Word. Somehow, I'm always amazed when God shows me something that sets off fireworks when I need it most - which is actually what prompted any writing you now see, a simple word of encouragement from someone I do not even know to write a book. (Thank you Bethanne Strasser).

Returning from my tangent, after reading a devotional by Charles L. Swindoll (check out www.insight.org) titled Overcoming Unfair Treatment from November 15, 2013. I found my heart resonating with "sweep us clean of blame and revenge, of self-pity and keeping score. Enable each one of us to be big enough to press on, regardless... Keep us from licking our wounds." Wow. I spent two days wallowing in self-pity and licking my wounds, wasting precious time that I could have been pressing on, regardless of my hurt. I was waiting for some sort of magical healing and was stagnant. Stagnant defined by Merriam-Webster is "not advancing or developing; not active, changing or progressing." Water, when left stagnant becomes quite vile, you'll see increased bacteria growth, algae, and more. Very few things are more disgusting to me, and that speaks volumes when I think of all the dirty diapers I've changed in the last three years! If water, when stagnant is disgusting, how disgusting is stagnancy in my spiritual life? What must that look like to Christ when I fail to turn to him, to his Word, to just wallow in self-pity? It must break God's heart to see me in self-pity, when all I have to do is turn to him.

It's important, though, to recognize that the hurt doesn't go away just because I have Christ, his peace, and his love. Reading Romans 12:12 speaks to this quite well, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Be patient in tribulation. It doesn't say God makes all things better when you turn to him. It makes me think of working out; the pain or ache that sometimes happens after 25 squats (yes, I'm weak) doesn't mean I'm done, it means I just have to work through those tired, sore muscles and pump out a few more. God asks us to be patient in tribulation because when we come out of it, we will have learned something, improved, gone through the fire, progressed, developed and changed. When I press on as Paul wrote in Philippians 3:14, I am patient through tribulation, headed toward a goal which God has for me. That goal may be as simple as learning boundaries, setting priorities, establishing good friendships, or it could be something so much bigger than you or I can imagine.

How do we press on then? How do we demonstrate patience in trial? Looking again at Romans 12:12, "be constant in prayer." When we are in communication with God, praying and in his Word, we don't have time to sulk. When I turned to God's Word, I found myself thinking of Him, of growth, of my own sin, of areas I can improve; I wasn't focused on my hurt or the situation anymore. His Word offers not only advice or life-changing truth, but offers us companions in sorrow, hurt, and pain, and shows us how they, too, turned to God in that time. My waiting in tribulation is well spent time drawing near to my Father when I'm in communication with him through prayer and his Word.

I am not healed, the hurt is not entirely gone, as I'm sure neither is my dear friend's. However, there's healing there to be done, and it's best done with God in the picture. For now, I can surround myself with God's promises in the bible, and I can develop, progress and refuse to be stagnant spiritually, working to forgive one another and progress our friendship as well. Forgiveness comes when we recognize all that Christ did for us, and that's a topic for another time.