Desperate for Strength, Help and Rest

I just finished chapter one of Desperate, by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson, and I find myself in tears. So easily I see that I can forgot that God is ever-present. These wonderful ladies share two verses at the end of the chapter, that I want to share as well today.

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

These verses have touched my life today, just where I am: a frustrated mom up at 5AM with a three year-old, a restless night of sleep because of the same three year old, weary of the endless effort to create and maintain a clean home, which ultimately leaves me frustrated and weary with myself for failing yet again at the supermom, superwife, superfriend juggling act.

However, feeling absolutely trodden and in a slump of depression, their words and those verses have picked me up. In all honesty, if you suffer from depression, I still have that dull depression that lingers, but I have more hope today, for the now. Looking more closely at those verses, I prayed that God would strengthen me, help me, uphold me, and give me much-needed rest in Him today. I have hope that although the house isn't perfectly clean, Caedmon took a nap an hour late, and I still have more to do beyond this blog post before Adam gets done at work (laundry, cleaning, prep dinner), God is right here with me, right now, giving me the strength, the hope, the rest and refreshment I needed.  And, because of this great promise and great hope in Him, I could not help but take a few moments to share this with you, my few but wonderful friends and readers. Take a moment today and really soak in those two verses, and thank our God and Savior who does not leave us and abandon us in our moment when we feel like failures and the struggles of life, whether work, motherhood, or marriage.

Dear Lord, I ask today that you would be with those that read this, allow them to feel refreshed by your Word, in which there is such blessing. You are the giver of strength, of help, of support, of rest; may we turn to you today and feel your presence in the midst of our every day. In Jesus' name, Amen!

THANK YOU to the dear ladies who wrote Desperate; it is a must read if you have the time, even without little ones, I feel their wisdom and biblical reminders are like little shots of espresso in a moment of need (I like coffee). So, if you are in the market for and uplifting read, a book of encouragement when you are desperate, this is the book for you!

Congratulations to Crystal S., Alicia A., and Karen C. on winning their copy of Darlene Schachts e-book!

Today's special: Humble Pie...

This week, I have been served a massive helping of humble pie. Sunday's Super Bowl party left this woman a little too partied; I drank too much. I have spent the last day brewing over how to confess my sin via the blog, and whether I should or not. Ultimately, I decided I would openly shame myself, possibly jeopardizing the willingness of people to follow my blog, and to confess that I messed up. Why? Because I needed some humble pie. I would be going against the very transparency I wanted to portray by starting this if I pretended I never messed up.

I cannot justify my poor choices that led to drunkenness. I can share my confession, my prayer, and the promise of forgiveness I have because of a repentant heart. Let me first share some of my prayer that I wrote in my journal last night:

"Lord, I really messed up, and I feel such regret and failure. I drank way too much last night...Lord, thank you for this guilt, this shame, recognizing how I have failed you, disappointed you - I missed or possibly ruined an opportunity to witness to others.

I am sorry, God. I'm sorry for drinking so much my mouth and words were unguarded. I'm sorry for not being more like Christ [in the way I behaved]. I confess I sinned, and I am sorry. Please, Lord, please forgive me...God, I hope I have an opportunity to continue to write to bring others to you and encourage their walks.

Lord, give me a repentant heart. Help me not to go overboard with alcohol again. Please, God, forgive me for drinking too much. Forgive me also for my failure to bring you glory and honor. Help me to start each day anew in your forgiveness; may I bring you honor in ALL I do. In Jesus' name, Amen."

This morning, my quiet time was spent in Daniel 9, where Daniel prayers for his people, and I didn't feel so alone, but I also felt guided in my prayers this morning. My cry this morning is like that of David's in Psalm 38:18; he says, "I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin" (ESV). That's my cry to God today. Daniel 9:3-4 reads, "then I turned my face to the Lord God, seeking him by prayer and pleas for mercy with fasting and sackcloth and ashes. I prayed to the Lord my God and made confession." Daniel also prays, "we have entreated the favor of the Lord our God, turning from our iniquities and gaining insight by your truth." (Daniel 9:13). And, finally in verse 18, he declares, "for we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy."

I praise God that in this chapter, these verses, I found direction, encouragement, and hope for my failure. First, you see that Daniel goes to God, confessing and seeking forgiveness, which was my first step last evening after a day of shameful recovery, and again I prayed this morning. "Turning from [my] iniquities" and in hopes of "gaining insight," I am attempting a fast for a better part of the day, spending time instead in God's Word and in prayer. You won't find me in sackcloth, but I am bearing my heart to you, as well as my intimate conversations with God. In verse 18, I found my greatest hope and encouragement; it is not by my righteousness I present my request for forgiveness, but because God is merciful, I can trust that he forgives me. So, I humbly admit to you all my faults and this particular failure. Perhaps you have some sin in your life, perhaps nothing this major, but you, too, can come before our father in confession and trust that by HIS mercy and righteousness he forgives. Praise the Lord.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9


(This is an incredibly honest and weighty topic for me to share with you all, so I ask you for forgiveness and for understanding. I know this may not be what you wanted to be encouraged by or read on my blog, but in an earnest desire to be transparent, I wrote this. I truly am in the "trenches", working through the muck of sin and failure, and hopefully I am not alone.)